The interesting problem, though, is who exactly do I know? Assuming I know a person, do I really want to be friends on Facebook?
Unless you are a salesman, politician, or entertainer, the value of Facebook diminishes as you get too many friends. After all, being friends entails getting (in some cases) multiple updates on the daily details of their life. Do I really need to now that the dude I hung out with for a few weeks back in 1998 is sick today? Or even worse, that he is doing great on some trivia quiz?
So this all creates some difficult decisions when I get a friend request. One of the hardest decisions concerns people that I know now or sort of know now. This category of person is somebody that I actually see on a regular basis for whatever reason. By adding him as a friend today, it almost seems that I'm committing to following his daily updates for the rest of my life. Perhaps the standard procedure will be to quietly drop the friendship after not being in regular contact for a few years. On the other hand, it may still be good to have some sort of link to that kind of person going forward, especially if we are in the same profession or have a lot of mutual friends.
Another dilemma is what to do with the person you sort of knew years ago. Yes, we went to school together years ago. But we were not even really friends then. Is there a sufficient basis to be "friends" now for the first time just based on the common experience and perhaps mutual friends? In this situation, it at least helps if the friend request has a message to go with it. Otherwise, it is this almost creepy agreement to open myself up to your voyeurism (photos, updates, contact information) in exchange for the same -- looking at each other through a double blind window (if such a thing exists).
I should disclaim that although some of the friend requests have been close calls both ways (both accept and reject), and I've been fairly limited with respect to the people that I'll allow into my Facebook life. I'm happy with the friends that I have (and there are still many real life friends who I hope will join Facebook). It will be interesting to see how it all shakes out in the years and decades to come, and what my reaction will be to finding out that the dude I met at a conference in 2002 reached a new level in the Nickelback trivia game.
2 comments:
Interesting indeed! Facebook has changed the social structure really of the Internet-having world! I find that I'm reconnecting with people further and further into my history. First it was my current friends, then college friends, and now my whole damn high-school it seems are on there and we're all reconnecting. It seems like if you meet someone and have a single conversation, you've got the option at least of staying in touch with them for the rest of your life. Most people it seems are less selective than you are, for better or for worse, and just approve most anybody they've ever met. I tend to be a little suspicious of that kind of behavior -- I think someday who you're friends with on Facebook could matter a LOT. The idea of losing touch with people is dying too. It's weird.
I have a (IMHO) brilliant idea though that's just going to propel the whole thing even more, if somebody ever runs with it. A reverse timeline, where users can say that they participated in certain events -- for example, GSA 90-91, some concert or festival, a political rally, a camping trip, a vacation, etc. They could invite their friends who they knew were part of it, and it would make a conceptual space for remembering that event, posting photos, telling stories, etc. It would be huge.
Eric, seems like you should be able to do something like that in the context of facebook itself. In fact, I recall them having something sort of like a social timeline that I have not seen lately. Then they have groups (i.e., University of Ohio Alumni), which sort of accomplish that.
Although facebook has a limited capability to do this, I think you ought to have tiers of friends. There should be those for whom you'd want an update every time they post a new picture or a new status update. Then there are those from whom you'd only want major updates (i.e., got married, moved, etc.) but you don't need to know if they are cooking Mexican food for dinner. Then, there could be those that you had a single conversation with. You don't find out anything about them, but you can access their info if you want and they can access yours if they want. As such you have the option of sort of keeping in touch or becoming better friends.
Post a Comment